My friend, Terrell sent this to me. I just had to share with my friends. I can't say I totally agree with all of it, but......I'm still laughing.
RULES OF MONTANA, NEVADA, OREGON, IDAHO, WYOMING AND THE WILD WEST [the non-Denver
Metro parts of Colorado] ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1. Pull your pants up.
You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I
drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over
it. Don't like it? I-80 and I-70 go east and west, I-15 and I-25 go north and south. Pick
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000
combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the
Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it
outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and
caviar you can get them at the bait store on the corner.
'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held
the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for
women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's
no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's
Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill
out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads We use
three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you
folks in San Francisco call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School
Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site
more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the
water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
16. Colleges? We have them all
over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta
there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at
everybody when they come home for the holidays.
17. We have more folks
in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines than all of you put together, so don't
mess with us. If you do, you'll get whipped by the best.
18. Turn down
that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't
want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!